My Journey into Sex Work

By Mistress Marie

If you asked me 10 years ago how I saw my future, I would never have predicted that this is the path I’d be on at 45.

Cam model. Domme. Sex worker.

Those are words for other people. Younger, skinnier, sexier women. Not me.

How did I get here?

My journey started in 2020 during lockdown. I turned 40 a few weeks into the shutdown. Locked in the house with my partner, feeling scared, lonely, frustrated, and invisible. I had been around sex workers, swingers, polycules, queer folx, and other open-minded people for years. Watching how they seemed comfortable in their own skin. And I wasn’t. I was insecure about my body, my weight, and my age.

My career path was always in sales, and I was great at it. Talking to men who inevitably underestimated my intelligence, assuming I was the “token woman” in the company. Then, there I was, unable to go door to door, as companies shut down operations and everyone had to stay at home.

Mistress Marie

Fast forward a few months, and a growing sense of invisibility was becoming increasingly apparent by the day. My primary relationship was dysfunctional, and I was craving attention. From him, from anyone. I figured, why not? Fuck it, I’ll try something new and scary.

I talked to some friends who were already doing online sex work, although I had absolutely no idea how any of it worked back then. I thought to myself, if they can do it, why can’t I?

I created an OnlyFans profile, then a Reddit account, and then an Instagram account. Learning how to market myself, take sexy pictures, and skirt the line without getting shut down by the algorithms. I took pictures. Hundreds of pictures. Thousands. I edited. I posed. I stared into the ring light and clicked the button to take stills over and over and over. It was exhausting. I criticized my body. I felt fat, undesirable, and old. I was spending 30-plus hours a week creating content. Trying to figure out how to “be sexy”, and it worked, a little, anyway. I made a few bucks, but it wasn’t sustainable, so I stopped. I cancelled all those profiles, put the pictures into a hidden folder on the computer, and felt like a failure. The benefits of putting myself out there were already working on my self-esteem and confidence, I just didn’t know it yet.

Then I met someone who told me that their job was live camming. I was so impressed. Here they were, everything I thought you had to be in order to make it work: young, fit, femme, sexy, mysterious, captivating, brilliant. They told me I could join them online. I was skeptical, insecure, and nervous, but also curious.

They showed me the ropes. Demonstrated how it works, explained the lingo, the acronyms (so many!), the kinks, the trolls, everything. Soon, I was hooked! Along the way, I learned many things. My role is to be someone else’s fantasy for a short time. I need to perform that role without taking it too personally, and definitely without losing myself in the process. The most mind-blowing part? Men told me I was gorgeous. They complimented all the parts of my body I had spent a lifetime picking apart. They loved my face. My breasts. My ass. My belly.

I decided to pursue sex work full-time. I was going to learn how to be: a sex worker, a cam model, a domme. I got a therapist, leaned into my personal growth, and ended a toxic relationship of 7 years. 2023 was a tough year. Many things changed all at once, and I wasn’t sure who I would be on the other side.

How does it work?

I get this question the most, the curiosity, the assumptions. Many people want to know, and like me, think they can’t possibly make money at it. They’re wrong. I believe anyone can make money camming. It’s certainly easier for femme-presenting folx, as the primary spenders are cis men. But the nuances are so incredibly varied that I genuinely believe there is a market for anyone willing to put in the effort.

My online persona is not so different from my offline one at this point, but when I started, that was not the case. I knew I wanted to be dominant. I knew I wasn’t going to let men talk to me disrespectfully or give me orders to do whatever they wanted. I was simultaneously attending local kink events and discovering who I was in those spaces as well.

Who is Mistress Marie?

Femme. Kinky. Domme. Poly. Queer. Feminist. Nerd.

I choose to present a version of myself who is glam, sexy, and polished online. I wear a full face of makeup, sexy lingerie, and have my hair done. It’s my armor and my toolbox all at once. My username starts with Mistress. They come into my virtual room and greet me as Mistress, Goddess, or give compliments to get my attention. The trolls like to poke or insult to get a reaction. The subs like to worship. And some men simply want to talk, tease, or engage in role-playing. There’s a different vibe each time. The day of the week, time of day, and season all change how I interact with my clients.

When it’s busy, I might have 10 or 15 people watching me at once, trying to get my attention. Sometimes there are 30 or 40 at a time, all watching me while they stay anonymous behind their screens. The site I use allows anyone to watch me for free. I keep my body covered (mostly) in the free room, but they can tip to have me flash my breasts or ass, demonstrate a sex act, or various other requests. They can also tip my wearable vibrator via the site, which buzzes harder the more they spend. That’s fun for everyone involved! All of which I control to begin with. They can only choose from the actions I’m willing to put on my menu.

How do you get paid?

The simplest version is that men pay money to watch me perform sex acts or talk dirty. The truth is so much more complex. Every person has a preference, a kink, a fantasy, a desire to see or hear whatever makes them aroused. My job is to figure out what makes them tick as quickly as possible. While also engaging with the other men in my room. While also looking sexy. It’s a perfect setup for my ADHD brain. 10 things happening at once, no time to think about what’s next. Just engaging and reacting to everything all at once.

This one wants a mommy domme to care for him while giving instructions. That one wants to be humiliated for his small penis. The next wants me to role-play being his naughty neighbor while his wife is at the store. Another wants to watch me pleasure myself. And the next wants me to “force” him to suck a cock because he’s secretly bisexual but can’t tell anyone in his real life. And generally, they are all trying to talk to me at the same time.

Many of my clients are attractive, financially secure professionals who don’t have the time or energy to go on a date. Others are lonely, or their wives no longer touch them, and they crave a connection with someone. There are others who want to explore their kinky side in a safe way that can’t jeopardize their carefully crafted offline persona. For some, it’s about the thrill of almost getting caught.

Is it a full-time job?

Camming is still a sales job, even if it’s very different than what I did before. There are both upsides and downsides to this work, like anything.

Benefits: I earn more per hour than I did in a traditional role, so I no longer work 40 hours. I have a home studio. I set my own schedule. I wear what I want. I choose which customers to engage with. I get complimented constantly on my face, body, brain, and personality.

Drawbacks: I mostly work evenings because that’s more lucrative. There are earning contests during every major holiday, so when others are partying, I’m often working. Some days, I look amazing, feel amazing, and the site is completely dead. Crickets. The trolls like to see if they can get a reaction from me by saying mean or outrageous things. The emotional toll is complicated to say the least.

Should I try it?

That’s a question that everyone needs to answer for themselves. I have encouraged many of my friends to get online and see if it’s for them. It’s my quest to empower women, femmes, and thems to take control of their sexuality and flip the script. Instead of feeling afraid of men’s attention due to past experiences, take control and monetize the hell out of it. I spent years of my life hiding, hoping to be invisible, or thinking that someone else was more worthy than me. Now I am confident, sexually free, and unafraid to try new things.

I will say this. It’s not easy work, and it’s definitely not for everyone. I have an amazing support system, a fantastic therapist, and an incredible partner who is my biggest cheerleader. It takes a lot of emotional growth to be a full-time sex worker and not lose yourself in the process. For those who are brave enough to try, you might just learn something new about your own fantasies along the way!

Mistress Marie has been involved in the local kink community since 2018. As a Domme, she engages with people from diverse backgrounds, genders, and ages. She’s passionate about learning within the kink community, meeting new people, and attending events. You can find her at fetlife.com/MarieVegas. She’s very creative, creating many of her tools of the trade, including floggers, collars, cat ears, and body wax. Check out her Etsy page: etsy.com/shop/NeonDreamsVegas.